THE FLAMIN' CHURCH

Has church ever made you so angry that you just couldn't walk back through the doors?
Until now I've known family and friends that this has happened to but only now have I found that anger.

What is it?
Some say it's the "practices," "traditions," "tithings."
My reason is for the treatment of individuals within the church and how it has conformed to fit into business/secular ways just to survive.

What do I mean?
Well when the "higher ups" have to "tell secrets" and keep information hush hush so that the congregation doesn't revolt.
When the Leaders (a small group or clique) make decisions on behalf of the "good of the whole church" instead of allowing the members to have any sort of say. (thought this was a form of dictatorship not a form of democracy)
When the higher ups have absolute friends within the "lowers" and cannot confide in them or seek guidance and help/wisdom etc but must go external or with equals in the church where the problems may lie.

I know all the above may result in human nature but i thought Christianity was better than that. Jesus never held himself above anyone else. He was equal with those he walked with. Yes he was a teacher because he did have more knowledge than we could ever fathom but this did not give him a sense of power or make him narcissistic and having to "rule" over all. He led, he directed, he handed out jobs and got things done. Well this is how I see it anyways. He loved, he worked smart, not hard. and worked hard when he needed to.

I'm going through a time in life where I'm accepting for myself who I am and what I want in my life. It doesn't sit well in the scheme of "religion" or "church" and many will tell me I'm going to hell.
I've struggled with it for many many years and I'm tired of struggling. This struggle however is a 1st world struggle and I'm privileged to even be able to say that.  I'm not physically hurting, I'm not in need of my basic rights, I'm not being abused so ultimately it's a comfort.
Well guess f***ing what. So is the spacious house that the pastor of a church lives in (who isn't in the middle of Africa living in a shack.) So is the 4 bedroom house a single widowed female lives in, so is the car you drive to church or the Nike's you put on your feet to walk to church. So are the ways in which we live in total rubbish, in excess, with TV's, electrical appliances that run more energy than we actually need because we forget to turn them off. What about the air-conditioner on a 41 degree Celsius day? If you can be comfortable in the ways of the world why can't I?